No I am not referring to the end of the world as we know it countdown, but rather my countdown to Chicago. A month from today we will be back home. I hope it’s where we left it.
I love Chicago, and I miss Chicago. My friends, our home, the skyline…the list goes on. However, when I think of leaving our little life here in Kansas City it become a bit despondent. In fact I ate ten….count em ten….Christmas cookies yesterday because I am anxious about the clock ticking (I was hoping the Mayans were right rendering the calories null and void). The simplicity of our life here has been a welcome respite from the packed life we lead in the Windy City. When you do a show out of town, it’s as if you live in a bubble-it’s protected, it’s structured, it’s secure.
Currently I perform eight shows a week (sometimes nine) and it is hard work, but outside of that my time is my own. I run errands, I clean the house, I exercise. I have time to think, to explore, to write. I have structure, but I also have time. I am not used to having it, and now that I do it’s hard to imagine letting it go.
I suppose an element of my anxiety is the fear of the unknown. When I return to Chicago I will be unemployed for the first time in a long time. I don’t know what lies in store. The adventure-seeker in me should be thrilled by the opportunity for discovery, but the spreadsheet-planner-maker in me feels uneasy.
Anyone have any tips for me? I will give you Christmas cookies…